Part II of Best-Laid Plans
Continued from the story, The Best-Laid Plans (first posted 9/13)
Laura Bond
When people learn Alba Emoting and realize how much they can use this technique to transform their emotional lives, they often follow this recognition with the questions, “How much can I now control my emotions? Can I keep myself from having a bad day, or lashing out at someone in anger? Can I use it to cure my anxiety attacks?” My answer has always been, “To a point. The location of that point depends on the individual and the given circumstances causing the emotional state.” I would then follow with examples to illustrate. I would explain that a person might have intricate life experiences that develop strong beliefs or thoughts that are entangled in this emotional state. These beliefs may keep overriding the somatic work of Alba Emoting that the individual is applying in order to clear this emotion. Another situation might be where individuals are in an environment where they are challenged daily with a situation that counters the desirable state they wish to induce as an alternative option. An individual who is in an abusive relationship could be working daily on trying to obtain courage, or serenity within their whole self, yet the abusive environment overrides the individual work applied and the victim of abuse needs to shift into the life-saving fight or flight mode. Another situation is where a person may have a physical condition that is limiting their emotive range. This individual must work within the boundaries of that condition and/or try to gradually use the technique as a tool to move beyond these limitations. As my story of the Best-Laid Plans continues as an example of personal somatic challenge, I realized I found myself in this latter example–a system locking up in a state of fear and anxiety at having vertigo 24 hours a day for months. Interesting how an example from the instructor manifested into a personal reality, one which I hope I can now look upon as a time of personal growth and an opportunity to gain more clarity on the potential within us all to change our circumstances, no matter how challenging they feel.
Alba Students Exploring the Fear Pattern
I remembered the wise words of my minister, “Only good will come from this.” I must admit, these words first troubled me at the time of receipt, for I was having great difficulty in finding the good in living day and night with vertigo spins and dizzy spells. I had given up most everything I loved doing for myself, from performing and singing weekly with an inspirational band that I adored, to vacations, travel, and even taking walks or gardening. On top of this I was getting ready to teach another Alba Emoting workshop in Asheville (at least I didn’t have to worry about flying in a plane) and an intense summer class for UNCA. My mind could only dwell on this thought, “Solve this, quickly!” I managed to get on my feet and teach intensively for four weeks, rushing off to different specialists in-between classes and workshops, and doing whatever these doctors told me to do, in hopes it would clear the condition and help me regain my balance. Some of these remedies had me in a neck brace, sleeping propped up at an extreme angle, twisted into maneuvers that brought me into vertigo and held me there until the condition cleared, and recommendations for copious drugs — most of them I was too nervous to take because I wanted my head clear for teaching.
As the weeks progressed I convinced myself that embracing the good, looking for the positives in the experience was a far better choice than wallowing in misery. I remembered my own words to my students, “Alba Emoting can be used to manage your daily emotions, to a point.” I decided to use my own condition as a personal laboratory for examining and testing just how much more I could learn about the intricate levels of possible change in the soma, and to find where my personal point of effectual positive change was within these challenging circumstances.
In addition to teaching Alba Emoting, I have also been writing a book about a new approach to acting that I have titled The TEAM Approach. TEAM is an acronym that stands for Thought + Emotion + Action = Manifestation. The essence of this approach is to help actors recognize that all parts of ourselves must be engaged and aligned with the character in order to produce a holistic performance. I knew this as an effective acting lesson, and yet I have always recognized that this acronym represented an important combination for all behavioral changes, or even life changes for that matter. When our thoughts align with our emotions and actions we are far more effective and accurate communicators with others, as well as within ourselves. I knew that with this challenging state I was experiencing, I would need to engage and align all aspects of myself with a positive balanced outcome in order to make things shift.
I employed everything I knew as an Alba Emoting educator. I knew to breathe deeply, to apply desirable emotive patterns throughout the day, and to adjust my posture as much as I could towards more healthy physical attitudes. It was challenging. Each head tilt brought on more dizzy spells, or at times I would engage so willingly into a desirable emotional state that a strong movement in one direction brought a vertigo attack that could launch me into a full tail spin down to the floor. To help me maintain the mind/body connection and sustain a positive attitude, I placed signs all over the house with positive affirmations written in large bold letters. These signs were in mirrors, doorways, at the foot of the bed, and on kitchen cabinets. I would put them anywhere I thought I might need them. Should I turn my head suddenly and feel dizzy–I would be looking right at words that would remind me of the feelings and thoughts I wanted to express, instead of fear or sadness. Within a couple of weeks of concentrated effort and continued assistance from a physical therapist, who introduced physical maneuvers that are meant to clear vertigo, I was able to return to regular daily teaching, directing plays, and even return to the gym for light workouts. Although minor spells still were occurring, they were reduced considerably and I was starting to see how I could combine these supportive theories to bring me back to the joyous state I was feeling just one month earlier.
Story continues….
